a change has come

during my long ass sabbatical, a lot happened. i was in a "serious" relationship. serious in the fact that the thought was that it might be long term. i'm almost ashamed to admit that i don't know exactly why and how it ended. i think that ultimately her timetable for marriage didn't exactly match up with mine. add that to the fact that she was crazy i wasn't balling like i had been used to and what had truly been a promising venture dwindled and died without either of us putting up much resistance...

WHAT IT DID

thru her stories of lovers past she had made it abundantly clear that she was "that" chick, the one who prepared a man for marriage, with his next relationship often ending in nuptual bliss. at the time the whole idea was lost on me, but hindsight being what it is, i get it: she was very much in love with the idea of being married, being a good wife, the whole nine. while we never made it down the aisle, seeing just how passionate she was about it grew me... it was no longer possible to "date" as casually as i had, to go about life and love as callously as it had previously been. TRANSLATION: the dog died.. she killed it

THE AFTERMATH

right on cue, i found the "it" girl shortly thereafter. after our first date ended with us sitting on her back porch talking literally until the sun came up, i dropped out of the proverbial "game", taking the time and effort to cut off my supply contact any and everybody i'd been dating to inform them that i was no longer an option. in direct opposition to what had been my m.o., i made it no secret that i was, and who i was dating. that sounds like a small thing to all the chicks out there getting played a lot of people, but trust me, public declaration is HUGE for a lot of men, but that's another post...

WRAP-UP
time will tell and only God knows what ultimately grows out of my time with ms. spradley, but this much is certain... the events of the past couple of years have changed me