No Strings

Gipetto was a puppeteer of the highest ilk. if he pulled the arm string, the arm moved. pull the leg string and the leg moves. such is the nature of a puppet; there is a very specific and predetermined response to stimuli.

Pinnochio wanted to be a real boy, free of the ties that bind. he didn't believe in strings... silly boy!!!

women, or let me be more specific based on personal experience... Black women don't grasp the concept of a no strings attached relationship... at all!!! ...for the communication challenged, allow me to break it down for you

WHAT I SAY

i'm single... enjoying being single. as much as i look forward to being married again. if we're on the level of friends... friends who engage in 69 positions of debauchery have had sex even, that still only makes us friends. the fact that the sex was on point doesn't give you just cause to increase the expectation of seriousness. don't call me every night. don't express frustration at the fact that we haven't spent time in a week/month. don't show up at my spots and act surprised that i'm there with someone else. don't say ur fine with the way we are while secretly expecting to change/grow me over the course of time

WHAT I MEAN

see "WHAT I SAY"

#thatisall

Things I've Learned

"...you say i don't know how to love you babe. well i say show me the way. i keep my feelings deep inside i shadow them with my pride eye. i'm trying desperately. baby, just work with me" - Musiq (Teach Me How to Love)

i love r&b music. always have, likely always will. the best songs seem to come from a very personal place, a true sense of hurt, or anger, or loneliness, or horniness, or joy, or having overcome. that personal experience is typically the place that i write from... some might call it my heart. that said, i'll share a few of the things i've learned over the course of the years...

The 90-Day Rule

confession: i was once a fan of a show called Girlfriends. i'm not proud of it but it is what it is... on the show, Joan Clayton had a 90-day rule, whereas any potential love interest could not be consummated within the 1st 90 days. it was a source of ridicule on the show, and even in the real world, making a man wait 3 months to get the goodies virtually assures you of plenty of cold lonely nights spent popping the Pepsi can a prolonged single experience...

but its not as if the concept was flawed - waiting to have sex sucks on a few levels (insert easy joke here). but what it does is give the relationship a chance to define itself outside the context of sex. understand this: if we have sex the first time we spend time together, my judgement becomes clouded. there's a chance that our relationship will grow and thrive, but we'll much more likely have a couple of months worth of mind-blowing hayrolls followed by a few weeks (or months) of me having to ignore your texts / calls cause i dont really like you like that... how could i, i barely know you... and pussy, even good pussy, has an expiration date... ironically, usually about 90 days

Pillow Talk

a man is perhaps never ever more honest than after a good nut, with himself and with you... which can at times make for a trip down the proverbial slippery slope. it stands to reason that over the course of a sustained relationship, all allegiances shift and your boo becomes your confidant... BUT, at NO point prior to marriage is it necessary to discuss inner circle secrets and other people's business, nor is it appropriate to ask or require that ur partner divulge anybody's "stuff" but their own. if u happen to be standing by while i have a conversation with the homie, feel free NOT to expect that i'm giving u a play by play and every detail of his life when we're done

Wisdom

it's generally a rule with me that if you're willing to fix your mouth and ask me a question, then i'm willing to answer... what you have to be able to do is disseminate between information that you'd like to know and can handle maturely and stuff you're just curious about and will ultimately wish u didn't know. at the same time i'd like to be able to expect honest answers to the things that i bring up in conversation. these mature conversations lend to more genuine relationships

Optimism

when i was much younger, i spent summers at my grandma's house. every other week or so a man would come by, Mr. McKay. Mr. McKay worked for a food vendor, and whatever, however, why-ever, he would come by and bring goodies, all kinds of sandwiches and treats. when his truck would pull up in the driveway, me and my cousins were ready... Mr. McKay would always say he was just visiting and had nothing for us, but we KNEW better... we KNEW that he was gonna go back in that truck and pull of boxes of goodies. Not Ciara's Goodies though, that might've been better

i have that same feeling now. not that Ciara is gonna hook me up sometime soon, but that feeling like something great is happening... we have about 6 weeks until the new year and i'm chilling, somehow knowing that my help is on the way. don't ask me to explain it, let's just call it faith

Enough Is Enough

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