I'm Ready

before Tevin Campbell got a "roommate" and moved to San Francisco fell off the map, he sang about being ready, and more specifically about waiting for his s.o. to be ready for love... it's a nice song, matter of fact, most of that album qualifies as good, panty-dropping music... the Black standard for a "we can make it" couple Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are apparently on the outs... there was an earthquake in Virginia that people swear they felt in downtown Atlanta... deer in Sandy Springs don't care about cars... what does it all mean...

REVELATION

i recently entertained a certain guest of the female persuasion at my home, a modest 2-bedroom bachelor pad of sorts in a pretty nice neighborhood. it has seen its share of debaucherous moments and possible misdemeanors lewd acts... its also the twice-monthly weekend home to the Terror Squad, a well-behaved group of kids, but a group of KIDS nonetheless...

so when said female suggested that she spend the weekend with Big Daddy at Big Daddy's House of Fun, it seemed like a reasonable suggestion... i had a week to destroy evidence of the previous week's sexcapades clean, wash clothes, vacuum, dust, whatever it is that females enjoy in an atmosphere that men apparently remain clueless about. And that's just it... while my "finished product" was short of my expectations, it fell FAAARRR below her level of expectation

who knew:

-what is that pile of clothes in the corner
-how long has that chicken been in the fridge
-why is the carpet so dirty
-what are these bottles of lotion doing everywhere
-what are these 4 dishes doing in the sink
-whose blow dryer is this in the bathroom
-what is THAT stack of stuff over there
-why is there a video camera mounted above the bed
-what are all these hair products here for
-when is the last time u cleaned this mirror

...it wasn't quite that bad, but close... what ended up being a good weekend, with good food, and good friends, also served as a lesson for ya boi...

Finish cleaning up, and then clean up again... then invite my sister over and have her critique, before finally cleaning up for real!!!

oops!!!

dealbreakers???

the NFL just ended its lockout. the NBA lockout continues with no end in sight, neither side willing to compromise what it considers non-negotiable points. Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez divorced. but what's more, the neverending hell hole saga that is dating and relationships plays out in grocery stores, malls, churches, and the local J.R. Cricket's...

you meet a new person - exchange smiles, phone numbers, facebook acct. information, bodily fluids... find out each other's favorite color, part of town, level of education, abridged dating history, taste in music, cell phone unlock code/pattern... gauge each other's intelligence, approximate level of income, earning potential, freak potential, level of mutual interest, willingness to play naked twister at a nearby hotel... all to arrive at a basic conclusion: "let's see where this goes..."

THE QUESTION

assuming we've reached this stage, what now becomes a deal-breaker? ...as in, i am no longer interested in knowing you, or your juicy lips... even on a physical level only - smoking, cussing, religion, hygiene, weird toe structure... what would make a person call it off

WRAP-UP

i'm actually gonna agree with a young lady i recently had this discussion with and say that for most men, we are willing to work with anything that comes out once my $$$ is invested and my penis is peaked we're "interested"... for women, there are probably some complete turn-offs, but who understands what women really want... not even women understand what women really want

sidenote: what's up with the nipple slips Nicky Minaj and Kelly Rowland? coincidence or Kardashianesque tactic to stay relevant... like Arsenio used to say, "hmmmmm"