Ex-Factor

"good loving: the girls' got plenty good loving. ask me how i know and i'll tell you so; she used to be my girl... she wanted more than i could give, but as long as i live she'll be my girl"

everywhere i go, somebody is calling me Gerald (Levert). some combination of medium brown complexion, "good" hair, full beard, and large ass body "healthy" physique lead people to feel at ease comparing me to the late r&b legend. nevermind the fact that i actually sing a little as well, i'm mostly flattered by it all. but all of that is neither here nor there... daddy (Eddie) Levert and his band of merry men (the O'Jays) were on to something in their 1978 hit song...

we feel a connection with exes, an ability to sift through the mess that earned them that title. we maintain "friendships", or even when those aren't an option, we follow (read:stalk) them on social media and talk about them and their goings on with mutual acquaintances. we revel in their continued relationship issues and hate on anybody who seems to be filling the shoes we once filled. the kicker is that we do all of this knowing full well that we will never, and usually would never even want to, try those shoes back on for anything more than a semi-annual 45min romp/reflect/release party...

a friend once mentioned that one of my vicitims as my not too proud to pick up where i left off homie might call them ex bed buddies was keeping score as i made public appearances with new "interests". this not-so-silent songbird was privy to a LOT of the "miscommunication" that led the ex to earn "i don't fuck with her" status, so it was funny to us that what i was doing still mattered to her... but it did, not just to that mattress mistress, but to most of us. even when those blasts from the past are hindering present possibilities, we have a hard time just letting it all go...

even as i sit here thinking about the foolishness of it all, i stand guilty of "missing" this about that one or that about this one and wondering how a "how's everything" text might be received. but i am, and we all must, figure out a way to suppress those urges (do they make a patch for that?) and get on with getting it on in the present, with people who could still matter in the long run