Poison Ivy

...you're gonna need an ocean, of Calamine lotion ...it's not just a catchy song by the Coaster's. it's a warning. stay with me for a second...

i grew up in southwest Atlanta, the SWATS... and some things can only be found in the hood: Fanta Pineapple soda, the candylady, shoes draped over power lines, old men loitering outside of the gas station, chicks offering to give it up in the parking lot at the Ritz on Old Nat'l, church that doesn't let out 'til 2pm, hair-dos that cost more than rent #section8, bootleg EVERYTHING from movies to shoes, flea markets, pieces of weave lying in the street, 2-for-1 food stamp transactions, Kool-Aid, and poison ivy... big patches of a plant that, if you insist on playing in and around it, is well-known for causing discomfort on a good day...

what does any of this have to do with the price of tea in China... and how much was cabbage #Cosbyflow...

most people subscribe to similar principles, just give them different names, different ways of explaining the same belief system... where a bible thumping church goer may say you reap what you sow, common sense sayings stress "what goes around, comes around"... while my atheist friend might resolve that you get back what you put out into the universe, my ex, Michelle a more earthy natural hair having neo-soul loving chick might say "karma's a bitch"... right before she waits for me to fall asleep and cuts a runway thru my "good" hair...

...making it plain

"when i was a child, i spoke as a child. i thought as a child. i understood as a child. but when i became a man, i put away childish things" - the Good Book

i've done my share of dissing, ducking, ignoring, stringing along, and generally mistreating... here's hoping that in this quest for love if you will that my attempts to make amends for past ills and do things better buys me some grace, makes that bitch karma miss my ass, gets me safely to my destination

Popularity is Overrated

waaay back in high school, i wanted to be more popular. not that i was unpopular, but i was in all honor's classes and the band for Christ's sake i wished i was tighter with more of the "in" crowd... more specifically, i wished i was playing naked twister "tighter" with more of the "in" girls

Skee-Lo wishes he was a little bit taller, that he was a baller... R. Kelly wishes... Ray J wishes he had one wish... why is Ray J relevant. what has he done other than be Brandy's brother and bang Kim Kardashian... what the hell has Kim Kardashian done other than bang Ray J on film... why do i always press the little "button" on the top of my fast food drink, you know: Coke, Diet, Tea, Other

so fast forward to present times... i've grown into my big ass head and nose a sense of man-style, swag if you will, that seems to work for me. i'm no Idris Elba, but i get my share of attention on karaoke night at J.R. Cricket's in social settings...

...AND IT SUCKS!!!

...not that it sucks to be loved. that serves as a nice little ego boost and is most times flattering. what sucks is being "out" and having to count on other females to be respectful of the fact that i'm obviously on a date... not even that i always know these other chicks, just that Black women in particular (yeah, i said it... shoot me) have a way of getting their point across non-verbally, whether that point is to me that she's interested or to my date that she ain't shit her presence is not welcomed...

it sucks, like that chick who lived in Dallas that i met thru BlackPlanet because now i'm feeling a need to apologize for other people's behavior, people who did not come out of my scrotum and as such i shouldn't feel accountable for... it sucks like Lebron in the 4th quarter, like Master P movies

Kem is still underrated!!!

Under Construction

pressure busts pipes... but pressure also helps create diamonds. so, the key isn't necessarily avoiding pressure as much as maximizing the moment... where's the beef? is it hiding with Waldo? who shot J.R.???

OK, HERE'S THE SITUATION

my parents went away on a weeks vacation and... i've covered the change of seasons and people's relational sense of urgency. is relational even a word??? what i'm realizing, however, is that this autumn/winter has me looking in the metaphorical mirror and "decoding" my own words to the person/s with whom there has been at least a casual interest... follow me for a sec...

while i've been saying, in all honesty even, that i wasn't ready for a relationship but that i was willing to engage in freak nasty activity up to and including lewd, lascivious behavior and possible sodomy, not to mention a p90x contending cardio vascular workout (pats self on back) an in-the-meantime quasi fling thing; what i'm now realizing i meant was that i was, and am, ready for a relationship... just not confident that i've found "her"...

all of this self-examination in my personal life is mirroring what is quickly becoming a spiritual awakening of sorts as well... one that has me feeling a very real need to DO SOMETHING about what i've long held contempt for... the practice of playing church, and practicing religion not out of a yearning for true knowledge and understanding, but out of long practiced and mimicked behaviors... but, alas, that's another post (sighs)...

ENOUGH CRYING ALREADY,
time for some true soul-searching... something more definite than "i'll get back to you when i know something". time for a grown ass man, to grow even more... i refuse to settle. i also refuse to bust... if that means that i'm becoming a diamond (in the most non-gay way possible, lol)... then bling bling!!!

o_O also in the most non-gay way possible O_o

...and remember - loose lips sink ships, but they also make for a hell of an afterparty!!! #huh