How To Love

"...had a lot of moments that didn't last forever. now you're in the corner trying to put it together; how to love"

who knew Lil Wayne was more than a locked up, tatted up, whiny voiced rapper. "not i" said the cat ...in 1-on-1 conversations, round table discussions, a love and relationships forum i was tricked into attending by an ex-lover, and just general observation, a few things are abundantly clear...
-men and women speak different languages
-partly because of that, we don't understand one another
-we want, and need, each other ...as much as, if not more than, ever before

lemme take a few moments and share what i've seen, and thusly... what i believe...

men take pride in their achievements / accomplishments, and perceived areas of strength


what men learn early on in life is to recognize their areas of strength, and ride them 'til, as the cliche says, the wheels fall off. handsome, muscular, funny, smart, wealthy, educated and well-spoken, well-hung, imposing / intimidating, stylish... men with "swag" are able to present these qualities without having to talk about or promote them. it becomes their essence, the source of the confidence that they exude. what we do have to "sell" are our achievements. and we do... talk with any man for more than 5 minutes and you're bound to hear about that thing about his life that he is most proud of...

the women that we see as "wifey material" are the ones we think can appreciate, and support our desire for future achievement... and not just appreciate, but praise and compliment our vision when possible, and help tweak, or lend new ideas to, wait for it, enhance the vision... and a nice ass doesn't hurt ;-)

women take pride in their families, and perceived relationship status

whether it be their kids, siblings, parents, or close friendships, women derive some of their sense of "value" from the functionality of that "universe"... but what's more is how functional their relationship status, or lack of relationship status feels, and looks to outside observers

it rarely matters how rich/broke they are, level of education, career status, or even spirituality... "happy" women are genuinely proud of their love/home life, and how it looks... when a man can make his woman know that she's special, and it shows to those who might be watching, there's no limit to what she'll do to make it work. she's literally on top of the world

it's along the same lines as the whole love languages thing... and i'm/we're making progress. and ultimately, that love of fairy tales and romance novels that eludes so many is very attainable