...secret lovers

you think that you're not just #1 but the only one. that's nice, but understand this...

public declaration is one of the most sincere forms of "claiming" that a man can do. Otherwise, you're just believing the hype. you may as well strap on a seat belt 'cause you're being taken for a ride

EVIDENCE

the fact that he's lovey dovey around a particular group means absolutely nothing. So you've met his family and friends, but you've never met co-workers, or that time when you dropped him off at work you barely got a goodbye.

maybe you've been to the office christmas party and he sits with you at church with his arm around you. why are there NO pictures of you on his facebook and his relationship status is hidden because he "never thought to put it up there"

maybe you've gotten all of these things, but you've NEVER been to his favorite spot. This one is kinda touchy because there is some value in having a place to get away and jut kick it with the fellas. But the fact that you are basically NOT ALLOWED to come should raise some concerns

BASICALLY

the man that loves you will shout it from the mountaintops. there is no place or group of people for whom that love has to be tempered. any proclamations about "not having people in my business" or just not being "that type of guy" fall into the category of game

a change has come

during my long ass sabbatical, a lot happened. i was in a "serious" relationship. serious in the fact that the thought was that it might be long term. i'm almost ashamed to admit that i don't know exactly why and how it ended. i think that ultimately her timetable for marriage didn't exactly match up with mine. add that to the fact that she was crazy i wasn't balling like i had been used to and what had truly been a promising venture dwindled and died without either of us putting up much resistance...

WHAT IT DID

thru her stories of lovers past she had made it abundantly clear that she was "that" chick, the one who prepared a man for marriage, with his next relationship often ending in nuptual bliss. at the time the whole idea was lost on me, but hindsight being what it is, i get it: she was very much in love with the idea of being married, being a good wife, the whole nine. while we never made it down the aisle, seeing just how passionate she was about it grew me... it was no longer possible to "date" as casually as i had, to go about life and love as callously as it had previously been. TRANSLATION: the dog died.. she killed it

THE AFTERMATH

right on cue, i found the "it" girl shortly thereafter. after our first date ended with us sitting on her back porch talking literally until the sun came up, i dropped out of the proverbial "game", taking the time and effort to cut off my supply contact any and everybody i'd been dating to inform them that i was no longer an option. in direct opposition to what had been my m.o., i made it no secret that i was, and who i was dating. that sounds like a small thing to all the chicks out there getting played a lot of people, but trust me, public declaration is HUGE for a lot of men, but that's another post...

WRAP-UP
time will tell and only God knows what ultimately grows out of my time with ms. spradley, but this much is certain... the events of the past couple of years have changed me