there's an ease in writing these words because they in no way mirror my present "tense". i lead with this disclaimer of sorts, not because my previous situations had me tied up, but more because waaay too many of us are falling victim to our own mixtures of stubbornness, ignorance, and deceit.
by "us", i mean the vast population of "grown and sexy" yet somehow still single "catches" roaming the face of the city. by "single", i mean not married. having a husband/wife includes a sense of accountability and responsibility not present in girlfriend, boyfriend, boo thang, babymama, s/o arrangements.
THE CULPRIT
Facebook: the king of all social media. where people who may have 4 or 5 people in their "circle" call HUGE numbers of people (sometimes into the thousands) "friends"... the relative newness of it all and the atmosphere is has become is, at it's worst, a high school like (not a compliment) clusterf@#k of fakeness, subliminal insults, bragging, complaining, fronting, etc... there are definitely some shaky uses of Twitter, Instagram, Vine, and other sites,but FB is king ...in the interest of fairness, FB can also be a very positive source of information, re-acquaintance, debate, photo sharing, advertising, and just generally networking, whether for personal or professional gain
THE PROBLEM
women see a lot of value in how their relationship looks to other people, especially other women. a date recap, those pics at the park, the tagged "shout-out", that intentionally vague "i'm so happy right now" status update, and the ultimate relationship status update; all designed to update their "world" on their progress. it's the same feeling that drives the "what did you do for" Valentine's Day, your birthday, the weekend conversations. nothing feels better than having a romantic story to tell, or receiving that bouquet of flowers at the job, or wearing that smile that her "man" put on her face bright enough to make the girls envious
men don't do that. to women, that automatically means that they are being "hidden", whether it be out of some kind of shame or just the fact that they want other women to see them as single and available... and for some men, that may be true, lol... BUT, lemme share why i don't live out my relationship online...
the people that i love and truly wish me well are in my cell phone, easily reached via text, assuming that i don't already see them regularly. i couldn't care less about my "virtual" image when it comes to my relationship, job, health, and possessions. nor do i think that social media is the place to play out arguments, disappointments, failures. my next big relationship proclamation will be that "i'm engaged", and i sooooo look forward to that day. until then, if you don't know what's up with me, it's prolly because you don't need to... in the nicest way possible :-)
THE SOLUTION
to be continued... one day soon i hope to be married!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment